Happy Birthday MT!

I've always been a fan of "ladies of a certain age" chic. I was donning old lady head scarves before any of my friends gave the charity shop a look in, when I was still the girl who smelled like their granny. Some would say not much has changed, unfortunately.

I have a premature craving for comfortable shoes, when everyone else my age can run marathons in their stilettos and doesn't look like a drunk version of Bambi in 3-inch heels.

Combine this with a genuine love for Werther's Originals and an affinity for pulling my tights up to my bra-line (It keeps you warm. I don't care how septuagenarian I look.) and you see what we have here, dear reader. I am a Golden Girl stuck in the body of a 23 year old.

I even *whispers* really like prunes.

Just the other day, while flicking through an old Hello! magazine at my aunt's house (She really needs to sort that hoarding habit out.), it was like a ray of clarity fell onto the old, tattered pages in my hands (Seriously, the thing was like 10 years old.). I had a new style icon. Not a very popular one, however. No really like.

It's Old Iron Knickers herself. Maggie T in the sartorial house. Not saying I would have agreed (or even am aware, really) of her leadership policies. Just think she's a snazzy dresser, that's all. And in honour of her 85th birthday, I've put together some ensembles that I'm really quite partial to. Check this sheeeet out below...

Green cape? Why, thank you.

Box-style sixties shift? You're too good to me, MT.

Rose print blazer...Wear it with a simple tee and my skinnies you say?

It would be a pleasure.

Now I just need to get my glare down...

Sweet, sweet charity.

Feeling rather brave this morning, I elected to try my new midi skirt on London streets for a day of charity shop-hopping. Here's what I wore...

...My black Divided waffle scarf, Awear skinny belt, vintage polka dot skirt, and a simple Primark vest top over.

Bit weird, this new skirt length. I guess I'm not used to feeling the end of my skirt brushing against my calves. Also, holding the damn thing down whilst climbing up windy Tube passages got seriously old. Fast.

Coming home with a vintage Jaeger jacket, a khaki maxi and a really ladylike Oleg Cassini blouse more than made up for it though. Charity shop win!

All in all, not bad for a first outing...Must just remember to wear modesty-covering knickers with this one!

For bitter or worse.

Everyone is talking about the new Ashish range for Topshop. I just had a look at it there, and while it is cute and everything, it just seems a little bit meh for me. It's such a change from his more high-fashion designs, which are mad for the bit of sparkle, colour and all that jazz.

This lot screams "I could do that myself...Give me a fiver and I'm off to Hickeys!" at me, a lot louder than it says "Yes, I can spend 40 spondulicks on a tee, no problem." But maybe I'm just bitter because I still haven't found that goddarn money tree I need so badly. Hmmmh.

Check it out and make up your own mind...

If you go down to the woods today...

I love this time of year. Something about going back to school, pulling out all your wintry, snuggly woolies, the crisp but still warm weather makes me go a little bit fuzzy inside. I even get giddy at the sight of new stationery (I was always the kid who had to have a new pencilcase, pens, notebook, school bag and so forth come Septmber, much to mia madre's delight). Dare I say it, I much prefer it over the summer "sunshine" that we always hope for but never get at home. At least autumn/winter never lets you down - the odd sunny, warmish day is an added bonus.

Yesterday I made my first purchase of this wonderful time of year - a gorgeous sheepskin jacket for the princely sum of 5 litle euros.

Jacket win.

And now, even though I should be making the most of this unusual hot weather we're getting right now, I can only dream of wrapping up in chunky sweaters, going for walks in the woods* and layering up like it's nobody's business. This Polyvore set will just have to do for now, I guess!

(I'm pretty sure I've never actually done this in my life, but in my daydreams I live in a Gap ad. Obviously. I'm also two stone lighter and rolling in money but they are not so pertinent to this particular tale, methinks.)

Christ.

Yesterday, while innocently browsing the web, looking for anything (and I mean ANYTHING) to distract me from paying attention to the fact that my wardrobe is currently masquerading as a dump site, I came across these images from Vivienne Westwood’s latest menswear collection. It could only be described as a sartorial car crash. And I think that may be a little too kind, to be honest.

The words Factory, Paint, Explosion, and Fabric spring to mind to say the least.

The very least.

Images from the train wreck below, make up your own mind...

I really didn’t see this one coming. I mean, I know La Westwood is a bit “different” as the Mothership would say, but COME ON. Does anyone really want their man to look like Little Boy Blue (had he fallen under a bucket of bleach, that is)/ a ventriloquist's dummy come to life, I wonder?

This one has a touch of the Bibi Baskin, circa 1993 about it, no?...Much love for the Beebster but sleeping with her tribute act is a little too far for me, I'm afraid.

Would you be ok with your man candy rocking up in this little number? Because if you are honey, I suggest you get out of the relationship now. Before you come home and find him cavorting about in those nasty red knicks he got you “for the laugh” last Christmas. Trust me on this; it’ll save time and the cost of 10 gallons of red wine plus your body weight in chocolate later on down the line.

Once I had recovered from the initial visual assault, I realised that maybe Vivienne is on to something here though. I stand firm in my belief that encountering one of these creations on any man-shaped object may be the most effective form of contraception known to humankind. I see your pills, coils and implants and raise you toupees, bad spray tans and drop-crotch chequered pants, Scientists of the World!

(all images from WWD)

The way you squeeze my lemon, I'm gonna fall right out of bed...

Last night I went to see "I love you, Philip Morris" with the Mad Mole, in a concerted effort to stick to my self-imposed HLW rule of laying off the booze (Healthy Living Week or Hell Lunges & Wheatgerm, both sum up my depressing experience). Anyway, I know that film came out yonks ago back home, but I never got a chance to catch it, and I have to say I really enjoyed it! However, having the concentration span of a goldfish on E, my mind inevitably started to wander, and I found myself admiring the pale yellow jumpsuits worn by the prisoners. Being a redheaded Irish girl, I'm paler than your average corpse, so yellow has never been a colour I could pull off easily. Today at work though, I found myself checking out all things lemon-icious and wishing for what could be! Some of what I'm loving...

Ted Baker Maxi Dress. Click here.

Lace tee, only 8 quid! Click here to buy.

Both from ASOS.com