Nobody thunk it, nobody knew...No one imagined the great cow guru...

Am starting to miss good telly over here in ZA. Not the biggest fan of the box at the best of times, but after 3 months the constant OC re-runs and home grown soaps (which borrow a lot of inspiration from such "classics" as The Bold & The Beautiful or Days of Our Lives...you get the picture), mean I'd rather let Kerry Katona perform brain surgery on me with a blunt knife then flick through the channels here any longer. What makes this microscopic smudge on this wonderful place just a TINY bit worse is the fact that I could have watched this.

Ok so I get that it may not seem like the world's most riveting piece of programming, but I've been sold on its virtues purely on the basis of this review by Charlie Brooker for The Guardian. And when I say this review, I really mean just this wonderful piece of journalism that I'm more than happy to share with you:

"There's something creepy about cows. They've got the blankest face of any animal. A dog pulls expressions. A cat bares its teeth. What does a cow do? It just looks at you. It doesn't even stare, because staring implies some kind of effort on the cow's behalf. A cow just stands there with its dumb face angled in your direction. Its huge eyes somehow combine approachability with a terrifying lack of any discernible sentient feeling whatsoever. Cows are ultimately unknowable. If you fell in love with a cow, the lack of emotional feedback would slowly drive you mad. You'd never know whether your feelings were reciprocated. You'd know if the cow thought it was going to rain, because it'd lie down. But you'd never know if its heart skipped a beat when you whispered its name. That is the tragedy of human-cow romances. That and the locals beating you to death with hoes."

Wonderful stuff. If anyone saw this piece of telematic (Yes, it's a word. As of now.) brilliance, please fill me in. Was it as bizarre as it promised to be and more? I too want to learn to "teach a cow to ring a doorbell". Fantastic stuff.

Mug available through Amazon here, should you be that way inclined.