Friday I'm in love...

Loving someone is fine, but they have to love you back or it doesn’t work. - Karl Lagerfeld.

Oh great...

(Image from dawn.com)

Just came across this...

I mean you know he's coming straight for me, right.

Yes, I'm aware it's like a thousand kilometres away but you may not know my talent for attracting catastrophe.

Just another adventure in the life of The Girl With The Worst Luck Ever.

(Aside: How funny is it that I just Google image searched for "Woman being chased by Tiger", and all that came up for ages was pictures of a certain over amorous golfer..)

Low lie the fields of...FML.

For some reason, once I leave the country, I have the urge to turn into the biggest Irish stereotype ever. I can usually resist, but add (any) alcohol into the mix and the whole thing gets a bit ridiculous.

I'm talking Tom Cruise in "Far and Away" bad.

I mean, I will happily tell people this is how I go to work...

(Image from rtenews.ie)

I think I'm turning into this guy. FML. Hide the bodhran people. For your own sakes.

In the movies the good guy gets the girl. In real life it's usually the prick...

Went to see "Youth in Revolt" the other night at the snigger-happy named Labia Theatre on Kloof (No, I don't know why it's called that either, but it sure made asking for directions more embarrassing). Something bad happened then.

My Cera-based obsession has been jump-started. Le sigh.

Oh Michael. It started with Juno, and got ridiculously out of control, to the point where I was planning what to wear for his next première. Hey, you gotta aim high, right?

And now it's back.

I know we will most likely never meet. And I know that even if we do, chances are he's not going to immediately fall madly in love with me. Neither of these two reflections have helped the situation one bit though. What is it about this nerdy, socially awkward man that I like? I know he'd be brutal on the dance floor. And he probably wears tighty whiteys too. And he'd spill wine all over your mother the first time they met.

I can overlook all those things Michael. Just call me.

Also, if you get a chance, go see the movie. It's pretty frickin' awesome, Cera or no Cera.

Go see table top mountain, in Cape Town...

1. If you’re looking for somewhere really different to rest your weary bones during your stay, look no further than the Airstream trailer park atop the Grand Daddy Hotel on Long St. Seven vintage Airstream trailers bid goodbye to the American Dream and have been lovingly restored to form a one of a kind camping area. Each trailer has been designed by a local artist – you can choose from “Pleasantville” for a touch of 50’s style kitsch or “The Ballad of John & Yoko” if the white look is more your thing. For those of you who love your creature comforts, the trailers are fully decked out with up to the minute facilities. There’s even a little US-style mailbox outside each caravan at your disposal. Too cute! Website here. This is my favourite, the Dorothy room...
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3. Everyone knows about Royale Eatery on Long St (and if you don’t, be sure to check it out, their burgers and shakes are to die for! Really unusual pairings too - for example lamb burger with brie and mint jelly anyone?), but not a lot of people seem to know that they run a happy hour too. Perfect for the cash-conscious traveller, plus you may avoid having to queue for a table like you usually must at peak times. Happy Hour runs Monday to Thursday from 4–5:45, and the deal is a selection of four burgers (including at least one veggie option) is available at R30, plus a selection of bottled beers can be had for a mere R10. How could you resist!

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   (Plus it has cute decor too!)

3. The idea of partying in a township may not appeal immediately, especially if you’ve never been to one before. However, Mzoli’s meat in Gugulethu will change all that. Arrive on a Saturday or Sunday around lunchtime (Sunday is usually the better day). Bring your own beers and salads. Choose your meat from the selection on offer and have the Mzoli’s staff braai (bbq) it for you in their homemade secret sauce. Simple, but amazing. You will never taste meat like this. If you can stand after such a feast, join the regulars and get down to some mellow house, played by local djs. Party till the small hours, dance on the tables, whatever. Great atmosphere, especially on a warm day. This is not the place to be a wallflower – mix it up, talk outside your circle, make new friends!

4. I firmly believe that if you travel to a new place, you should at least attempt to familiarise yourself with its history or culture along the way. Unfortunately, in the case of South Africa, the past is a bitter pill to swallow. If you are not entirely familiar with the culture of apartheid which oppressed so many for so long, then the District Six museum in the City Bowl is a good place to start learning. It focuses on the area from which government policies forced coloured people out of their homes and into informal settlements with little or no facilities or hope of improvement. Homes, schools, churches & livelihoods were destroyed as part of this enforced segregation, and today the area still remains barren while the government decides how best to use the space. A reminder to all of the hardships these people endured under such racist policies.

5. South Africans are an adventurous lot, and everyone you meet seems to have one outdoor hobby or another. I guess it’s easy in a country where the weather is so great and nature is on your side. If you fancy getting some of this outdoor action for yourself, try a sunset hike up Lion’s Head. Take a taxi to the summit and it’s a not-too-strenuous (unless you're me, see last post for details!) 45 minute hike from there. Sit atop the peak and watch the sun go down over Cape Town, with views of the city from all sides. Definitely bring your camera for this one. Some bring a picnic and indulge in wine and cheese over sunset. Best of all, it’s entirely free! Check for a full moon if you want the best light for the hike down, if not a torch is always a good idea.

6. For those travelling through Cape Town with their life on their backs, the Ashanti Lodge on Hoff St. is a good place for some budget R’n’R. Situated less than 10 minutes walk from all the action, it also has an unbeatable view of Table Mountain. I’m assured by reliable sources that it’s a fantastic place to watch the sun go down too. The gorgeous pool and friendly staff help add to the good vibes too, I guess.

7. Saturday mornings usually finds me either one of two ways; bleary-eyed and still harbouring traces of last night’s eyeliner, or bright as a button and eager for a “productive” weekend (unfortunately it’s the former that wins out more often than not). Either way, a trip to the Old Biscuit Mill in Woodstock usually sorts me out. Good food, albeit a little pricey, but it’s all local produce and for most things, freshly made in front of you. There’s a design market as well with young designers starting out, as well as vintage clothing stands, photography and art. As you might imagine from that brief synopsis, the place is overrun with hipsters. But don’t let the plaid shirts and carefully created “dishevelled” hairstyles put you off – It’s the best way to ease yourself into the weekend!

8. Tucked in at the back of Long Street Antique Arcade is an adorable little vintage shop, Glitterati. It’s incredibly tiny, but a veritable Aladdin’s Cave of gorgeous goodies. The shop looks like it could be a movie star’s dressing up room. You certainly will have to root a round a bit, but the search is always worth it for some precious finds in this case.

9. Your Lonely Planet would probably tell you to hit up Hemisphere for a great night out in Cape Town. I’d tell you to go for ten minutes and only for the view. Being on the top floor of the ABSA skyscraper makes for an impressive sight come sundown. However, the club itself isn’t up to much unless tacky music and overpriced drinks is your thing (this is also true of Cape to Cuba). A much cooler hang out is the granny-chic Waiting Room. Situated up a tiny rickety stairs, which you enter through a non-descript door on Long St, this place reeks of atmosphere. The rooftop terrace lets you check out where the action is that night, and comfy couches strewn about make for relaxing drinks with mates.

10. Cape Town works at a fast pace, and after a while the hedonism gets a bit much (i.e. I can’t close my jeans so realise it may be time to cut back a bit). A great place to unwind and feel better is at Long Street Baths. Here, you can choose between a sauna, a steam room, a cold pool or a warm room, in addition to showers and all the usual malarkey. The price is pretty reasonable at R75 for up to four hours or R37.50 per hour. For this you’ll get a day bed, a towel and some soap as well as admission. I know they used to offer massages as well, but apparently these are off the cards now. However, the baths have different operating hours for men & women (check web for exact times), so this may not be best for a romantic holiday!

(Photo by Art Harris)

When I get off of this mountain, you know where I'm gonna go...

Somehow got myself talked into hiking up Lion's Head here in CPT yesterday, hence the lack of posting. The sun was out, I was in a good mood, there was talk of sunsets and wine and it all seemed like it was going to be wonderful.

It was not. No siree.

If you knew me, you would know that the only physical activity I do on a regular basis involves wine glass or cigarette to mouth. I must have entered into a Twilight Zone of insanity for the 30 seconds or so that I pondered the offer and said yes. Seriously, it hurts just moving the laptop around on my lap. Crawled into work today but manage to hobble back home around lunchtime. I have never felt so stiff in my life.

And I live with a bunch of North Face jacket wearing, activity keeners, "No I won't have another one, have my 5am bikram class tomorrow" kind of bunch, so no sympathy chez Murzipan for the GUT-WRENCHING AGONY I am in. Am just going to feebly wriggle around on the couch and moan a little until someone feels sympathetic/irritated enough to bring me a nice cup of raspberry tea.

And shut it, I am not being melodramatic. Not one bit.

Having said all that, it was beautiful to be up there for sunset and see the whole city spread out. I just wish I'd realised we'd be hiking down in the quickly-diminishing light afterwards. See what it was like for yourself in this gorgeous photo my friend Lauren found...I wish I knew who took it, it certainly leaves my photography "skills" (which extend to fuzzy zoom and trying to keep my thumb out of shot) trailing in the dust..

Watching, waiting, commiserating...

I'm sorry for having to do this to you. I really am.

But I cannot suffer through this musical syphilis alone.

They have destroyed my youth. All my ridiculous teenage angsty emo-before-we-knew-what-emo-was crap was played out to this song.

It must be stopped.

YouTube link here. I don't even want to see this thing on my page.

And just like James, I'll be drinking Irish tonight...

Also, if you happen to be in the Galway area in the coming weeks (Races, Arts Festival..really, why aren't you there?!), you should definitely check this out..Promises to be some great gigs. Especially the one on August 5th.

Also if you do go, vote for The Deadbeat Collective. And I'm not just saying that because one of my good friends happens to be in one of the bands that's playing on August 5th. I swear. Kind of.

Like the summer sunshine, pour your sweetness over me...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the film Marie Antoinette, not so much for the story itself but for the incredible styling on it. I find the physical film itself to be eye-poppingly gorgeous. Apparently, all of Kirsten Dunst's costumes in the film were inspired by Laduree's gorgeous pastel macaroons, which I well believe, since she looks good enough to eat in every scene.

I stumbled across The Curious Confectioner today and was instantly reminded of the sumptuousness of Sofia Coppola's efforts. I felt a diabetic coma coming on just by looking at these sugary little works of art. Not that I think you could ever bring yourself to eat one of these beauts. The company seems to operate out of Brick Lane somewhere so will definitely be checking them out the second I hit Laah-daahn come September!

Held behind four walls all through night and day...

Didn't get a chance to blog yesterday at all, was out and about enjoying the festivities for Mandela Day here in Cape Town. It's supposed to be winter here but yesterday was a total scorcher! Loving this cover shot from the May 2010 issue of Spanish Esquire. Happy (belated) birthday Madiba!

When you feel like you're hungover but you didn't drink last night...

Had serious chocolate cravings last night, so much so that I was almost tempted to bake up a storm to quell the pangs. There are sometimes when cheese and crackers won't suffice, although this usually keeps my food monster at bay.

However, our kitchen facilities here are somewhat limited (read: all knives are blunt and the oven only works on the second Tuesday of every month. If even.), and every time I bake here I get so frustrated I just end up in a bad mood for the rest of the night. Anyway, should you be in a kitchen that is moderately better equipped than mine, and I don't doubt that you are, this chocolate cake recipe is to DIE for. Seriously, you'll want to have its babies.

You'll need: 1 pound soft butter, 1 pound caster sugar, 6 eggs, vanilla essence and 1 pound cocoa/ self-raising flour mix (I usually use a 40:60 ratio, also ake sure you use cocoa and not drinking chocolate, as this will be too sweet.)

1. Preheat oven to 180C (Sorry not sure what Fahrenheit conversion is, but I guess this is easily googled!), and grease a round 6-inch baking tin.
2. In the mixer, combine the softened butter with the sugar until both have combined into a fluffy mix. Break the eggs into a bowl and whisk together.
3. Slowly introduce the eggs to the butter-sugar mix. I usually do this in 4 stages, but it’s not really important as long as you don’t bung them all in there at once. Add 2-3 drops of vanilla essence at this stage also.
4. Sift the flour mix into the bowl, trying to break up any lumps you see. Using a wooden spoon, gently fold the flour into the mixture. You don’t need to do this too long, just enough to combine them. Try to keep your touch light to incorporate as much air into the cake as possible.
5. Bung in the oven and bake for 25 - 30 mins. Serve after cooling with whipped cream. Et Voilà!

* I'd love to pretend that the picture up top represents my culinary efforts, however the reality of the situation is depicted below. Aesthetically pleasing it may not be, but I can assure you an artery-blocking, sugar high inducing good time was had by all...

Many tall sky scrapers standing all in a row...

Someday I will stay here. When I am wealthy and fabulous. And I will swim in this pool and I will look over the edge and I will pee my pants a little.

And when it comes to checkout, I will hand over one of my kidneys and my first-born child in payment.

Respectable, Modern, American, Upscale...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqOMf8Nar2c

Easily the best video on YouTube. Easily.

The way you squeeze my lemon, I'm gonna fall right out of bed...

Last night I went to see "I love you, Philip Morris" with the Mad Mole, in a concerted effort to stick to my self-imposed HLW rule of laying off the booze (Healthy Living Week or Hell Lunges & Wheatgerm, both sum up my depressing experience). Anyway, I know that film came out yonks ago back home, but I never got a chance to catch it, and I have to say I really enjoyed it! However, having the concentration span of a goldfish on E, my mind inevitably started to wander, and I found myself admiring the pale yellow jumpsuits worn by the prisoners. Being a redheaded Irish girl, I'm paler than your average corpse, so yellow has never been a colour I could pull off easily. Today at work though, I found myself checking out all things lemon-icious and wishing for what could be! Some of what I'm loving...

Ted Baker Maxi Dress. Click here.

Lace tee, only 8 quid! Click here to buy.

Both from ASOS.com

Nobody thunk it, nobody knew...No one imagined the great cow guru...

Am starting to miss good telly over here in ZA. Not the biggest fan of the box at the best of times, but after 3 months the constant OC re-runs and home grown soaps (which borrow a lot of inspiration from such "classics" as The Bold & The Beautiful or Days of Our Lives...you get the picture), mean I'd rather let Kerry Katona perform brain surgery on me with a blunt knife then flick through the channels here any longer. What makes this microscopic smudge on this wonderful place just a TINY bit worse is the fact that I could have watched this.

Ok so I get that it may not seem like the world's most riveting piece of programming, but I've been sold on its virtues purely on the basis of this review by Charlie Brooker for The Guardian. And when I say this review, I really mean just this wonderful piece of journalism that I'm more than happy to share with you:

"There's something creepy about cows. They've got the blankest face of any animal. A dog pulls expressions. A cat bares its teeth. What does a cow do? It just looks at you. It doesn't even stare, because staring implies some kind of effort on the cow's behalf. A cow just stands there with its dumb face angled in your direction. Its huge eyes somehow combine approachability with a terrifying lack of any discernible sentient feeling whatsoever. Cows are ultimately unknowable. If you fell in love with a cow, the lack of emotional feedback would slowly drive you mad. You'd never know whether your feelings were reciprocated. You'd know if the cow thought it was going to rain, because it'd lie down. But you'd never know if its heart skipped a beat when you whispered its name. That is the tragedy of human-cow romances. That and the locals beating you to death with hoes."

Wonderful stuff. If anyone saw this piece of telematic (Yes, it's a word. As of now.) brilliance, please fill me in. Was it as bizarre as it promised to be and more? I too want to learn to "teach a cow to ring a doorbell". Fantastic stuff.

Mug available through Amazon here, should you be that way inclined.

You paved the way, believe it...

So I'm living in Cape Town at the moment, have been since April. One clear benefit of this was I got the chance to be present during the FIFA World Cup, which ended on Sunday. Before we go any further, be under no illusion that I have any clue about soccer. Most of my "knowledge" comes from memorising certain sentences gleaned from my more-soccer-clued-in friends (basically everyone I know), and throwing them out at what seems the appropriate point in a conversation. For example, a particular favourite of mine after the Brazil v. Portugal game was "Can't believe Ronaldo got the man of the match. No. 23 was by far the better player - he dominated that end of the pitch in the first half." A risky undertaking you may think, especially since you could write what I know about "the footy" on the back of a stamp and still have room for the month's grocery list, but so far it's worked out pretty well for me.

Despite my clear lack of soccer knowledge, and the truth is that I spent a lot of matches playing "Who would you rather?" with my girlfriends (Focusing on balls of a different nature I guess!), I'm still pretty bummed that it's over. The atmosphere here for the past month has been amazing, and it's thrilling that the whole thing went off without a hitch. Watched the final in a Dutch pub here in CPT on Sunday, and even though they lost, it was one of the best nights of my life! Here's to Brazil 2014...and I'm gonna make it a life goal to even know what the offside rule is by then!

P.S. Even though I loved the Cup, I won't exactly be crying if I never hear that "Waka Waka" pig's ear of a song again. So many original artists here and they pick a Colombian. No offence Shakira, but you can just "waka waka" your way out of my life this second.

But now my head is empty, and the work load keeps on growing..

What am I waiting for?! Have finally decided to stop procrastinating and get this show on the road. So hello to all! This is my clipboard of general thoughts, stuff I want and cool stuff I see. Have no idea how it will all pan out so bear with me please! Even though, given previous form, this will probably be the last post on here for months. But we'll aim to be positive and see what happens. Over and out!